Table Manners

Monkey uses forks/spoons on her own now (and she's pretty good at it)! It's amazing!!!!

Monday. Boo.

It's Monday - the beginning of my work week this week. I took yesterday off and ended up lazing around - though there was plenty I could and probably SHOULD have been doing.

Had my appointment on Friday and my doctor thinks I should go see a GYN for further treatment of the fibriod. Because it's apparently only one, and not very large either. I'm still not really clear as to why I need to go see a GYN specialist - but I'm dead broke for the moment so it wont be happening for a while. She did prescribe some birth control which may help shrink it.

Talked to an old high school friend and she said she'd watch Monkey for 200 every 2 weeks if the company were to allow me to go back to a day shift. So - now all thats left is for me to talk to my manager and see if he'd agree. I think I'll send him an email, because I dont ever see him - and he's rarely at his desk for me to be able to call him. But at least in the email I can draft, re-draft and then re-draft again to make sure it sounds good enough to convince him to let me go back to day shift. I'll be doing that tonight.

the post in which I write about me. and other things.

So first - as I know news spreads quickly in our family - I have uterine fibroids. But at the moment, this is all the info I have. I have a follow up appointment on Friday with my doctor-who-is-not-a-doctor-but-an-Advanced-Registered-Nurse-Practitioner- doctor here after called my doctor. Anyway - They've been causing me some seriously excruciating pain for the last month or so and I finally got them checked out. I suppose on Friday we'll come up with a plan of attack and figure out the best way to treat them for me. I'm not so big on surgery or the whole hormone therapy treatment. Surgery means I'll have to come up with my $1000 co-pay and I'm not made of money, and I don't have a money tree (By the way - can anyone tell me how to come by one of those? It could be extremely useful!). Hormone therapy means that I'll be taking testosterone and well, I don't want to sound or look like a man. When I know more, I'll share.

I'm also playing with the idea of asking my company if there are any day shift positions available. I'd need to find low cost, high quality child care first though. Night shift is getting harder and harder for me to cope with. Especially since the Monkey seems to think that her naps should be shorter. I looked into the Jacksonville children's commission and I make something like $3,000 too much to qualify for their program. So that's a definite no-go. I'm looking into some other options - but I need to talk to a couple people first.

Anyway - I suppose that's all for the night though.

Obligatory Pictures.

The top two pictures are older - the first was when she was about 10 months, the second one is from January. I guess she thought she was driving.

The bottom two are recent. The first was just today - I wanted to do something with her hair, and decided that I would try to put it in to pigtails - and it worked out wonderfully. The bottom is me - 2 Sundays ago at work. I cut and permed my hair - so here's the proof. Nice, huh?

Monkeys are Social Creatures.

Monkey has discovered that hanging out in Mommy's bed and terrorizing her pillows is TONS of fun. Except she never wants to put them back. Oh well, she's terribly cute.

We've discovered that she's a social eater. Meaning that unless some one is eating with her, she just wont eat. Strange little person she is. Really. But - I don't mind it terribly. It means that when we have something that resembles a normal schedule, I wont have much of a problem convincing her to sit down at the table every night for "family time".

Terrible Twos - and we haven't even made it to Two.

Why didn't any one tell me that the Terrible Two's starts WAY before the child actually reaches two? This would have been good info to have so that I could have mentally prepared myself.

I should have known that because Monkey was an absolute angel for her first 11 or 12 months of life that afterwards she was going to be more than a handful. I now have a head strong, stubborn, and mischievous 16 month old on my hands and I may just pull my hair out, or need to be placed in a padded room very soon.

NO, Don't do that, No Ma'am, You may Not, and I'll tan your little hide have absolutely no effect on the child (the last one may not work because she knows I wont actually do any hide tanning). We seem to be past the biting - which I'm ecstatic about (especially since I bit her back and thought it had no effect on her). But she is constantly trying to get into stuff or do things she know she shouldn't be. Like taking the toilet scrubber out of its holder and waving it around, or unplugging a lamp and trying to plug it back in. No amount of redirection works, and popping her hand doesn't cut it either. I've taken to shutting all the doors I possibly can and hiding as many outlets as possible and then gating her between our rooms. But she'll still turn off the TV or open all the drawers on my dresser and remove the clothing from them.

So just when do these Terrible Twos end? Because if they don't end soon she may not actually make it to two (I joke, I kid -but for serious, I'm losing it). And any ideas on better ways to keep her from making me insane would be greatly appreciated.

My Little Monkey

Moments like this

and this


...make me forget that she's become a very headstrong, independent, and down right stubborn child. And she's all mine!

Beware: Monkey Bites

Monkey has officially become a biter.

I had hoped that we would avoid behavioral problems like this one, but it seems that we will not.

Monkey bit me the other day and I told her no and popped her little butt. She cried, and then all was ok. Well, today she bit me again. She bit Gigi too, and left marks. So when she bit me, I bit her back. Because the only way I know to break a biter, is to bite them back. I didn't bite hard enough to leave marks, but just hard enough so that she would know I meant business. Ladies and Gentleman, that child looked at me like I was nuts and demanded that I put her down ("DOWN!"). She didn't even cry. Nothing.

Gigi and I talked about it some, and we honestly believe that her biting is a result of not being able to communicate with us in a way that we understand her. I have decided therefore, to commit myself to teaching us to sign. She already knows the sign for "all done" and uses it in the correct way (i.e - when she's finished eating she'll say "done" and then wipe her hands on each other to tell me she's all done). Today she learned to sign mommy (my absolute favorite one!), baby, and thank you. So - I'm hoping that by teaching her words that she's not able to speak yet, her frustration level will drop and then the biting will stop. Because, if not, I'm not sure what else to do. I can't keep biting her back if it doesn't phase her.

Psalms 91

A while back, I had seen a car with a license plate that had "PSALM91" on it. Two days before, I had a dream - all I can remember from the dream is that I was looking for something, and that Psalm 91 kept coming up. So I called Meister to see what Psalm 91 was about (I will admit that for being part of a very Christian family - in fact, my Papa pastored a church for as long as I can remember, I do not know much of the scripture.) She gave me a general idea.

I went home and looked it up.

Psalm 91

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. ^a]">[a]

² I will say ^b]">[b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

And instantly, I knew why I had had the dream. At the time I was involved in a relationship that I needed protection from. I could not save myself from myself and this helped me. Helped me to regain the strength I needed to step away from the relationship and demand the respect that I deserve.

Today, on my way to work, I saw the same car, with the same license plate. Obviously a sign. I started thinking about it and realized I am again, in need of His protection because I have strayed onto a path that I should not be on. I have once again backslid and forgotten that it is by His grace I have the things I have, am blessed to have the family I do, and am blessed to have the child I do.

No News is Good News.

God grant me the strength to accept the things I can not change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have another unspoken prayer request. Pray for us please?

Not much new in our world. Save for Monkey's other grandparents (the donor's parents) are going to spend some time with her Friday night. I'm a little shocked about it - mostly because they had agreed about 3 weeks ago to start spending more time with her in order to try and coax her biological to spend time with her. They believe he does not spend time with her because he doesn't want to deal with me. I don't think that they realize how childish it is, but so be it. If it gives Monkey a chance to form a relationship with him, then I'm all for it. But I guess I didn't think that they'd make good on it.

Oh, and Monkey is ok with her potty now - she doesn't scream when she sits on it. Though, I do think we'll wait a bit longer to get really serious about potty training. I think it's too cold right now to have her wandering around in just panties and a shirt. Plus, she does not like socks - and Gigi has tile floors.

Photo Editing!

Soooo I created a flickr account tonight, because Blogger uses flickr and it makes posting pics easier.

Anyway, Flickr has this AMAZING photo editor - and well, here's some of the editing I did. (There's only 2 pics because it's a long process)

I know they're not AWESOME - but, they were fun to do! Hope you enjoy!