Why I'm happy to be a Single Mother

Instead of being incredibly bitter about the situation that Monkey's biological has put us in by deciding to be an absent parent - I've decided to see the positive in the situation.

I don't have to co-parent with anyone. All decisions regarding raising Monkey are made by me - and only me. I get to decide when she potty trains. I get to decide when she does everything. I don't have to check with another parent about anything.

I get to take all the credit when she does anything amazing (the flip side to this situation is anything that she does wrong is also a reflection on me - but oh well.) I get to take credit for the fact that she is an incredibly HAPPY little girl. And incredibly smart.

I'm the person she cries for when she's hurt, unhappy, and all of the various other things that children need their parents for. It still melts my heart every time she says "Mamao" (because my child is strange, and calls me Mamao, instead of mama or mommy).

I'll be the person thats there for her through everything. And I hope that later in life that I'll be the person that she comes to when she wants to talk about things. I want to be her mom and her confidant. Much like my mom has become my friend.

edited to add: Just wanted to update about my lump - it turned out to be an ingrown hair after all - so no worries! Yay!!!

Easter Pic

Because I apparently only thought to take one picture Sunday.

I am a horrible mother.

But she is too stinkin cute!!!!!

Boob Lumps

Two weeks ago, I discovered a small lump in my armpit - just beside my boob (sorry if you didn't really want to know that but truth be told, we all know I'm a little less reserved than I should be). It hasn't gone away yet, but hasn't gotten any bigger either. It just appeared out of nowhere too. And, it hurts a little.

So, I've got an appointment to get it looked at by my doctor-who-isn't-a-doctor-but-an-ARNP on Friday. But with my luck, now that I've actually made the appointment it will dissolve Thursday night just after it's too late to cancel the appointment to avoid the $50 fee that my doctor's office charges for missed/canceled (too short notice canceled, as they require 24 hour notice) appointments. But then again it's been there for two weeks and hasn't disappeared yet, so - who knows. I'm sure I'll be getting a phone call soon, instructing me not to tell Papa - so as not to stress him. Don't worry, I hadn't intended to. At least not until I find out what it is. Though it will more than likely be nothing. Better safe than sorry though, right?

Anyway - Just so you all know - I have decided to that Monkey is some one else's child. She is very bull headed and stubborn all of a sudden and I haven't the slightest idea where she got it from.

Easter

Well, it's a little late, but we hope your Easter was a good one, spent with family enjoying the day.

We didn't go to church even though I was off work. I'm not a huge fan of organized religion because I feel like I can talk to God all day everyday and don't need some one to tell me what he needs me to know. If I listen hard enough, I can hear him telling me.

Anyway - no easter egg hunt this year - she's not quite old enough to understand the concept anyway. But she was so stinkin adorable in her dress I'm kicking myself for not having brought my USB cable to work so I could upload pics to show you. But the plan is to have some professional photos taken in the dress soon, so I'll let you know when they've been done and when you can get yours.

Update on the day shift. I was offered a position on Friday to return to a day position. I declined it today (Monday). The position they offered would not let me do the things I do at night (dispatch, customer support, tech support, account management, alarm and sprinkler troubleshooting) - and all the things I get to do at night are the reason I love my job. I told the HR Lady this morning that I'd rather work the crappy hours and love my job than work during the day and hate what I do. She seemed relieved that they didn't have to try to find some one to work my shift. I know it was silly of me to not thought of that before I asked for a day shift - but I think I was just going through a rough spot with the baby and was stressed out. So - I'll continue to work nights and get to spend time with my kid and save money on child care. Yay!

Oh, Hi Daddy! (Since I gather that you're reading regularly. Check the dates on the posts before you ask about them too crazy man.)

Brain Juice

Ok, so, It's been a couple of days.

We have been ill. I thought that maybe Denise was leaking brain juice from her nose, the way snot was just running down her face. My tonsils were swollen and I had a fever. We also were both coughing and sneezing up a storm.

But, we're doing much better and I'm trying to get caught up on things - so I apologize for this post being so short - but, like I said I'm trying to get caught up on things because I missed 2 days of work and have LOTS to do.

Anyway - Have a good Day!

I Fell To My Knees...

I fell to my knees and asked God to take my trouble, and give me strength. He said to me "My child, you only call me in your time of need. If you would but let me in your life, your troubles would cease. You would have the strength to get through the day. Will you let me in your life?" I said yes, and cried. Tears of Joy.

Of Bugs and Jobs

As usual - nothing much new to report.

Monkey seems to have some kind of cold. Her nose has been running like a leaky faucet and she had a slightly elevated temp yesterday. Needless to say - no one got much sleep the other night. She and Gigi were up when I got home from work and it took me a good hour and a half to get her to go back down. Our nap was almost non-existent too. So neither of us were functioning well yesterday. Here's hoping that today will be a better day. Gigi and Baboo got her some children's Tylenol and she's had some, so I'll follow up with a couple doses tomorrow and hope that this bug goes away quickly.

Doesn't look like I'll be getting a day shift after all though. The company is not hiring any body right now, and is trying to look into getting some one to trade shifts with me - but I'm thinking that if they wanted to work nights, they already would be. I'll wait a little longer, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I did get a job offer in Madison, AL - it's literally RIGHT next to the city that Linds and I vacation in when we go to Alabama. I didn't accept - but there wasn't any need to. The company that offered the position is also a fire suppression company and is one of my company's affiliate partners. They take care of a large portion of northern Alabama. The owner basically said that if I chose to move there he would be more than happy to offer me a position with his company. It was a serious offer - I checked, but I just can't logistically make it happen right now. Even if I could - I know only one person there and he is EXTREMELY busy all the time. I'd be lonely. I'm not up for building a new support network right now.

Can't remember the last time I updated about my uterine fibroids - but I'm on birth control now which should shrink the "6mm mass that is consistent with a uterine fibroid". There is no point in going to see my gynecologist as far as I'm concerned. He'll tell me the same thing that my doctor told me - there's no point in removing it since theres no guarantee that it wont come back, and it can be controlled with birth control. If I were considering having another child, and the fibroid was considerably larger - then removing it would be an option. As I am NOT (ever, ever again - no time soon. NO MAS BEBES!), and it is not, removing it is not an option.